Rob and AJ

Rob and AJ
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THINGS GUYS WISH WOMEN KNEW ABOUT MEN




Shaunti Feldhahn, a syndicated newspaper columnist and author of "For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men," offers these ten things guys wish women knew about men:
  1. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected
  2. A man's anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife
  3. Men are insecure
  4. Men feel the burden of being the provider for their family
  5. Men want more sex (duh!)
  6. Sex means more than sex
  7. Men struggle with visual temptation
  8. Men enjoy romance, but doubt their skills to be romantic
  9. Men care about their wife's appearance
  10. Men want their wives to know how much they love them

COSMO'S GUYS YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DATE... BUT SHOULDN'T





  • Adrenaline Junkie -- This dude skydives, surfs, runs with the bulls anything for the rush. And he has the sick abs and chiseled arms to prove it. But to keep him happy, you need to be in perpetual motion, too. This guy does not like to sit on his ass and he doesn't like for you to sit on yours either. And it isn't just a phase. In his late 30s, he'll get into marathons, and they'll lead to triathlons and eventually to the Ironman competition. Yeah, that means a trip to Hawaii but instead of chilling on the beach, you'll be cheering him on from the sidelines. Having fun yet? 

  • Nice Guy With a Chip on His Shoulder -- He'll ridicule the "tools who are trying too hard" with bold clothing choices to seem down-to-earth, but here's his dirty little secret: He spends just as much time picking out his outfit as his more fashion-conscious counterparts do. Under the casual exterior is a calculating killjoy with mom issues. He'll stand at the bar, thinking 'Why is that girl going for that dude over there? One day, she'll come to her senses and get with a nice guy like me!' The truth is, he's so preoccupied with being overlooked that he'd be totally oblivious to your attention. 

  • Smooth Operator -- He's the type that rolls up to the club in an Escalade and holds court in the VIP section, ordering bottle service all night. Though he got Ds in high school, he now scores A, B, and C cups with entertaining small talk and name-dropping. Yeah, he's a Casanova in a skull cap, it replaced his trucker hat about a year ago. But this lid spells trouble. It takes confidence to pull it off with a straight face, too much confidence. There "is" such a thing. He'll shower you with attention, but beware: You may not be the only chick in that shower. 

  • Workaholic Hotshot -- This guy is always dressed to the nines, because he's loaded. Simmer down the cash flow comes at a price. He toils until the wee hours, then loosens his tie and parties like there's no tomorrow. Unfortunately, there is tomorrow, and it starts in like three hours. What little time he has for you will be shared with his BlackBerry. The ugly truth: Money is the love of his life, and you're just a mistress or second mistress, since he's probably crunching more than numbers with his secretary. (Cosmopolitan)

5 easy ways to sell your home faster

In this tough housing market, how can you sell your home faster? I got these from Yahoo.com. It's 5 easy ways to sell your home faster:

  1. If you do only two things before showing your house, clean, and clean some more. People want to come into a space and visualize themselves living there, and if there are spills on the table, toys on the floor, and dog mess everywhere, people can't focus on the space.
  2. Accentuate the positive, camouflage the negative. If you have large windows or a great view, hang long, simple curtains to accentuate them. If you have spacious rooms, remove any too-bulky furniture or unnecessary pieces that would make the space feel cramped.
  3. Appeal to the widest possible audience. If you have a hot-pink accent wall, paint over it with a more neutral shade that matches the other walls. Pack away that collection of Star Wars figurines. Stash kids' toys or dog toys in another room.
  4. Create a welcoming environment. You want buyers to make an emotional connection to your home, replace dim light bulbs with new ones and make sure there is a pleasant, but not overpowering, smell in the house.
  5. Develop a quick-clean plan for last-minute showings. You never know when a realtor may have an interested client, so it's important to have a speedy cleaning plan for spontaneous appointments. Invest in a nice-looking storage trunk for stashing day-to-day clutter in a hurry.

Company Christmas Parties

We talked about your Christmas Party in 4 words.. and we got some good stuff... thankfully we don't work for this company :) :

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Subject: : Office Christmas Party


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 1, 2009

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

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Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 2, 2009

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

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Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 3, 2009

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

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Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: October 4, 2009

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

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Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F*%^ing Employees

DATE: October 5, 2009

RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

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Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 6, 2009

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan



HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE ROB AND AJ SHOW!!!

Who's the hottest actress of the 2000's?

With the decade ending this month, who is the hottest big screen actress of the 2000s? Here's what Playboy magazine readers said:

  • Megan Fox
  • Scarlett Johansson
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones
  • Naomi Watts
  • Charlize Theron
  • Halle Berry
  • Keira Knightley
  • Natalie Portman
  • Cameron Diaz
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Jennifer Aniston
COMMENT AND TELL US WHO YOU THINK IS THE HOTTEST

What Her fingernails can tell you


LET HER FINGERNAILS DO THE TALKING

How women dress up their fingernails reveals their inner personality, says Pam Bell, a color, consultant and the official numerologist for the National Examiner. Bell offers readers these tips on how to nail down the psychological profiles of the women in their lives by checking out their manicures:

  • Pink polish -- Romance and friendship motivate women fond of this ultra-feminine hue.
  • Orange polish -- World of caution -- only confident big-city gals on the cutting edge of style can really carry off this color.
  • Red polish -- The power color attracts born leaders who have a mission in life.
  • Offbeat colors -- A rebellious side resides in women who get dolled-up in unnatural colors like blue or green.
  • French manicures -- These ladies put a lot of work into looking like they have naturally perfect nails. They have their tips enhanced by white polish and the rest covered in light pink or beige, completing the illusion with a coat of clear lacquer. These gals hope they come off like the girl next door -- only better.
  • No polish -- It takes a self-sufficient woman to go bare. But her confidence can lure her into talking on too much.

The kind of food a man eats tells what he's really like.


PICK YOUR MATE BY WHAT'S ON HIS PLATE

Attention ladies. The kind of food a man eats tells what he's really like. That's the claim of neurologist-psychiatrist Dr. Alan R. Hirsch in his book for finding a mate, "What's Your Food Sign? How To Use Food Clues To Find Lasting Love." After barraging 800 subjects with a battery of tests and grilling them on their favorite eats, Hirsch discovered that food preferences reveals personality and can predict compatibility.

  • Take breakfast and sex. Men who gobble grapefruit in the morning are sexually expressive and aggressive, while donut eaters are repressed. Fruit loving guys are optimistic, but strawberry eaters have an insecure streak.
  • Hirsch says women can put spice in their lives if they pick the right herb. Garlic, sage and saffron eaters lack confidence; parsley, paprika and basil lovers are easygoing, and curry, chili powder and cayenne sprinklers are logical and frugal.
  • Fun foods are also telling. Pizza lovers are perfectionists, taco munchers are risk-takers and spaghetti eaters are pessimists. Eaters of French fries are thoughtful.
  • As for dessert, ice cream can also reveal personality. Lovers of chocolate ice cream are self absorbed, vanilla appeals to the needy and butter pecan eaters stand up for principles. When it comes to making it, chocolate chip nibblers are the most likely to climb the ladder while rocky road fans are best at enjoying the fruits of their labor.